Split ends are not ok, but what the hell it costs $50-$400 dollars to get our hair done every 6-8 weeks. That is only if the hairstylist doesn't fuck the color up and we only have to stop by once in that 6-8 week span (unlikely).
When you are a busy bitch like me you are usually running around town in workout clothes. We have to get our nails done just so we don't feel like boys running around in sweats. If we get regular polish that will chip in about 20 minutes, so we get gel & $45 dollars later we are feeling fresh, and broke.
Girls are all supposed to have perfect bodies. Big (and perky) boobs, round butts, and a tiny waist. Gym memberships now run from about $50-$180 a month. This doesn't include the cost of personal trainers so we know how to properly do exercises ($65-$180 an hour), Pilates classes to lengthen and tone ($18-$30), spin classes to keep on trend($20-$35), and yoga to stay flexible ($15-$30).
Guys make fun of girls for shopping. Guys won't date a girl who doesn't have good style. Therefore, we have to keep up with the trends. Good jeans cost well over $100. Boots start at $50-$300. A nice top runs around $30-$130. A nice jacket $60-$300. Hundreds of dollars later we have one outfit that cost about half our rent.
Every girl has gotten the "are you tired?" question when they show up to work without makeup on. Gosh! We are almost forced to put shit on our face to make us look "presentable". According to a study from Mint, the average woman spends approximately $15,000 on beauty products during her lifetime. Of that, $3,770 goes to mascara alone (I mean, it does brighten your whole face). Next time I want to buy a car and can't come up with the money, I will thank my full face of makeup for that!
6. Face wash, lotions, & potions:
Wrinkles? Oh, hell no! We buy shit tons of sunscreen, eye cream, face wash, a Clarasonic, toner, night cream, and the list goes on. We are scammed in to buying everything we can to make us look youthful, fresh, and have clear skin. I can't believe it when I leave the estheticians office on how much money I just spend and how much I walk away with.
7. Spray tans, tanning lotions, bronzer:
Nothing is worse than a girl who is pasty white, right? The last thing you want to do is get in to a bikini when you match your white towel. Spray tans cost an upwards of $40 and if you want it to last then you better buy the $30 lotion that helps it stay. If you don't want to pay $40 for a spray tan you most likely are willing to get a "steal" and spend $20 on a gradual at home tanner.
8. Waxing & Threading:
It is totally unacceptable to have bushy ass eyebrows, and GOD FORBID your vagina isn't waxed. If you have hairy arms, you better wax that too. This is where the "pain is beauty" comes in to play. Waxing and treading will cost you $100+ a month if you are going every 2 weeks. As we all know, girls aren't supposed to have hair like normal human beings.
Girls want to wake up looking like a supermodel. Unfortunately, less that 1% of the population looks like one. The other 99% are spending money on push up bras, thongs, and Spanx to keep everything "in it's place". Sadly, after dropping our hard earned cash on lingerie we will never look like Gisele.
Green juices, organic salads, tea cleanses, and the lose 5 pounds in two week diet program will cost you way more than just eating regular "fat people food". I want to be skinny, so of course I am willing to spend my lifes savings at Whole Foods.
The list goes on so for the people who get plastic surgery, Botox, teeth whitening, eyelash tinting, eyelash extensions, or anything else... BE READY TO BE BROKE. Dudes better pay for our damn dinners after all we do to stay looking this fly! Beyonce (bless her) did NOT Wake Up Like Dat.